of bullshits and crap..

i know i promised to write a blog showing my appreciation to the people who has been there for me all dis years..but right now i'm just so freaking mad i just need an outlet to let go..okay..have u ever encounter people who are so sugary sweet and act all nice in front of you but deep inside they're something else? And for the longest time u were fooled by dis person's kindness towards u..they say things they don't mean to get something from you..words that are suppose to be special and sacred..meant to make u believe them,trust them..and like a gullible fool u did..but all "good" things come to an end eventually won't it? u started to realize that they begin to contradict themselves little by little..the longer u linger around them the more u realize that they're not the same person as u thot they were..and all the things they say to you means NOTHING..yup..u made an error in judging their character..u made the mistake of letting your guard down..and when u do realize that, u start to keep a distance..afraid of being disappointed,hurt and betrayed..but despite keeping your distance you know that they succeed in entwining you in their web of lies..and you're trapped..helpless..coz when u let someone in your life you would also unconsciously let that person in your heart too..and like a good friend once said to me..u can't control your heart, it controls u..so there you are all helpless with your heart in line just waiting for it to be smashed..and like how all mistakes end, your heart gets broken..and you are left an empty shell..in real life there's no superhero or knight in shining armor that would save you from the evil witch..the good guys don't always win..most of the time they just don't win and all..u can call me a pessimist..but thats how reality works..u made a mistake,u pay for it..but then again..there's always the higher power up there looking, watching everything we do..and to those people who falls in this category of people i'm talking about..BEWARE..karma is a bitch..believe me..i learned that the hard way..and IT WILL COME AND GET YOU..what goes around do comes around..sooner or later..mark my word..you would suffer..Allah forgives everything if u repent and seek for his forgiveness..but he can't forgive the sins you committed to others..and as of now, i don't forgive you yet..i'm sorry..i might be a bad person to all of you..i can't do it yet..i know i will..some day..but not now..and karma will get you..good luck with that you crap bag..

of tears and appreciation..

lately i've been avoiding reading the newspapers..it's just too depressing..everyday more calamities,death and catastrophes are reported in Gaza..it breaks my heart seeing the pictures of children,babies who some of it hasn't even grow their teeth yet being killed by the ruthless Israeli soldiers..what kind of sick people would hurt a child???what harm could a little baby who's not even strong enough to lift its head could possibly do to them??? why kill these innocent souls??? i really can't understand it..what kind of animal that could point a gun at a crying helpless baby and pull the trigger?there's only 1 answer; GENOCIDE..they wanna wipe clean the population of gaza so they can hv it for themselves..as far as I know genocide is prohibited under the international law..so why are the security council not doing anything about it?? but then again, the main veto power is America..the country who started a war based on baseless assumptions n pretenses..all this war talk makes me appreciate the fact that i still have the people i love around me..just imagine..the people in Gaza they lost everything..home,parents,kids,friends,family,lovers..so my next post im going to dedicate it to the people i love the most...

of new year resolutions and "jantans perasan"

okay..new year would not be complete without new year resolutions ryte?hehe at least not for me ..tho i rarely fulfill ethng in it..still..its good to set ur goals..so here goes;

1. stop regretting my actions and move on
2. learn from my past mistakes and never repeat em again
3. get a really good digital perm job(extensive research must be done)
4. lose weight and look fab
5. start studying early and improve my result
6. try to achieve at least 2 of my new year resolutions..haha

anyway..there goes..it seems achievable..i soooooo gotta start working out at least half as hard as when i was in f4..hahaha nway OH MY GAWD! i have 1 more thing in my long list of pet peeves; guys who thinks u're into them when u're not or as a gf of mine calls it-jantan perasan..hahahaha dun u just hate it when u eyed a cute guy across ur table n u're flipping ur hair and stealing glances but his not-so-hot(im trying to sound nice here..but u get d pic) friend thot u were doing it to him and he came over to talk to u n stuffs..so there goes ur chance wif mr.hot stuffs..since mr.so-not is his good mate of course he won't approach u now..it happened to an old friend today..kesian..*sigh* anyway..this breed of guys is quite common..and u hv no idea how annoying it is..sumtyms u're just having wut u thot was a normal conversation with him and the next thing u knoe he's spreading stories that u have the hots for him! like wth?????? what can i possibly do to make him think dat??? news to guys out there DO NOT ASSUME A GIRL LIKES U UNTIL SHE ACTUALLY SAY SHE DOES..like my english lecturer once put it..assuming is making an ass out of u and me..so DO NOT assume..i once had a good friend..someone i trusted to listen to my probs..we hang out a lot n i told him about my problems and all..there was occasions where we would have lunch just d 2 of us..i thot he was cool wif it and all..then the next thing i knew sum girls were asking i me whether its true that i was flirting with him and all..lyk hello??? i knoe he had a gf n i would not do sthng lyk dat..besyds he was my close friend..i even told him we can never be anything more than friends..even his close freinds told me d same thing dat he was going around telling ppl that..pleaselah! get a lyf major loser! its 1 thing to destroy my trust..its another to be going around spreading rumors..anyway..i just hate this kindda guys..

im going back to shah alam in a few hours..daymnnn..i soo dun want to! i dun knoe why..its not lyk im living in rotten mawar lagi.. but still..it just feels safer at home..*sigh* time to wake up and face reality..huhu

2008: of mistakes and regrets..

the curtain just closed on 2008 and here we are on a new beginning..2008 taught me a lot..from bad perm job to heart breaks..the good,the bad,the evil..everyone makes mistakes..big or small its part and parcel of life..as they say those who had never made a mistake never learned anything..but sumtyms have u ever made a mistake so big u just wished that u cud go back into tym n undo everything? well i have..i knoe i shud live lyf wif no regrets and all but heck its easier said thn done..its not that easy to pick up ur lyf n not look back thinking what if u had chose the other way..especially if u had a choice (or in my case multiple choices) at the tym and u made the wrong decision..the obvious thing that u shud do is of course to move on n stop regretting..but if that mistake has cut so deep it might leave a permanent scar in ur lyf it won't be that easy to let it slide..take my bad perm job for example..it was really bad..n my hair was damaged after that..i started having bad hair days and my hair was foo-fy most of the tym..so lesson learned..ask the hairdresser fers wt type of products do they use,techniques n stuffs..thank god i grew out my hair..but still the curls left its damage..my hair never look the same again..a reminder of my error in judgment..

but the bright side of making mistakes is its when u are at your lowest u would know the ppl who wud stick around to help u get out of the rut..n thank god my gfs r heaven sent..the best there is..the kindda ppl who love u soo much they wud still comfort u even when u called them at 3am crying ur eyes out..hahaha..thanx bash..i love u sososo much..and the ones who'd hear u complain n nag incessantly sometimes accompanied by loud tears..hahaha..i still remember the tym i got back with really2 bad perm job and the girls was there trying to stop me from crying..hahaha..i cried lyk it was the end of the world (it was really2 ugly mind you)..nway my point being for these amazing girls no prob is neither too trivial nor too big..they would always be there for u..n i to them..i would forever be indebted to them and theres nothing i wouldn't do to for em (except maybe murder and felony) haha..i know with their help i would soon get over this..it won't take long..after all it was just a mistake..
i just hope im not stupid enough to repeat it again..